a cup of talk

Andrew Utter speaks on the importance of understanding the origins of love in a relationship in the possibility of sustaining a lasting relationship before 'losing the loving feeling' leaves love lost at a point of no return. Andrew is a recent Ph.D. from Stanford University in German Studies, and works professionally as an actor and a director.

People commonly differentiate between loving someone and being in love with someone. And for the latter, 'being in love with' someone is frequently identified by the presence of some 'loving feeling'. But is this correct? We pose it you:

Does the loss of the 'loving feeling' necessarily mean that a person has fallen out of love with someone?

Okay, now. Say a person genuinely falls out of love with someone after an amount of time. Another issue which people seem divided on is whether 'being in love with' a particular person is one shot gig. That is:

Does genuinely falling out of love with a person make it impossible to be in love with that same person again some time in the future?

Drop a comment, tell your friends to chime in, acupoftalk.com needs any input from you! thank you :)

Lisa speaks on her tendency to unwittingly date men that are similar to her father...and no, this is not a good thing. Lisa is currently going to school and works for Land Rover.

Let's face it, whether you're compelled to believe in the Oedipus complex or not, we've compared our (prospective) partners against our mom and/or dad. In Lisa's case, she is frequently attracted to men who turn out to share certain 'negative traits' that her father holds, much to her chagrin. So what of you,

Do you tend to be attracted to, or find yourself dating, people that share significant features with your mom/dad? And do you prefer this or not?

Let's throw in a curveball here for the next question. Some people don't seem to be attracted to the similar features their mom/dad hold, but rather bare a similarity with their mom/dad in how they are in relationships. For instance, a female who has a father that is, say, a narcissist and (unwittingly) preys on good-natured people may herself take after her father in this way. Or a son whose mother is nurturing may be nurturing in relationships too. So, we wonder, of you,

What force feels stronger to you? - Your attraction to people who share significant features with your mom/dad, or your tendency to be similar to your mom/dad in relationships?

Drop a quick comment please, and tell your friends to help us with our research, thanks!

Todd Neece speaks on his experiences of breakups, and the reasons given, that have left him without a chance to understand and develop from them. Todd is a grant writer for a non-profit.

real talk

Most of us have been on both sides of this equation. You know, whatever the reasons, it's simply going to equal to a breakup. But when it comes to the real reasons why promises of togetherness come to an end, people seem split on what they want to hear on why they're being broken up with. What would you choose, when you know the relationship is done, on their 'reasons why'.

To hear the brutal truth that's likely to be very painful to you, or something your partner-no-longer 'tells' you as a conciliatory and easing rejection of you?

Through the relationships, years of changes in your life, you usually have a rough idea of a person you want to have a relationship with. It's funny how, often times, your friend will describe this idea of a person to you, and to find that they've never been with a person anything like that. And chances are, the next person you are in a relationship with, may not fit that idea either. So, for the sake of science, do tell:

Do you find the people you have had relationships with are similar or dissimilar to the idea of a person you want to be with?