The mission of this project is to expand our research on the 'philosophy of love' to the mainstream--YOU. The success of this collaborative project crucially depends on hearing from you. So whether a response to the questions, just a word or full-on rant, we'd love for you to join the conversation, thanks!

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Sunday, January 24, 2010

"Mistakes and Heartbreaks," feat., Tony Molina

Tony speaks on the wisdom gained through mistakes, what he takes to be a privilege in the experience of heartbreak; and, incidentally, how he gets by now. And then he breaks it off into beats. A real treat.

Some are like drawn-out terminal cancer. Others, like an out of nowhere ton of bricks. Breakups happen. And more often than not, "cordial" is not exactly the descriptive fit. But what of the things of things-past that you may now possess? - A simple question then:


Do have any of your ex's stuff? If so, why do you think you still have them?

If you've been in a relationship before, then you've made mistakes in a relationship before. This is, of human nature, common law. Tony speaks of his mistakes, the fortune of experiencing heartbreak, towards the path of "wising up" to a relationship that lasts. But is this a necessary feature of achieving such a goal? So we pose the question to you:


Do you think people unavoidably make mistakes before they can settle into a good relationship?


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Posted by richie at 8:59 PM

4 comments:

  1. I... have my first boyfriend's motorcycle helmet. Oops.

    I have a question- are mistakes avoidable, entirely? Would we want to avoid them? We're human, and one of the ways we learn is through relationship with one another- the people you come to know and interact with as you move through life, along with the family you came into being with.

    Now... the question posed, do you have to make mistakes before you finally can find that good relationship? I think that just depends on if the relationship you're in could accommodate for the growth and change that inevitably happens- can you come to see what mistakes you are doing in the moment, change them, and have the relationship able to adjust? Or do you become stuck, mired in old patterns, and the only way out is to end it and try again?

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  2. Agree w/ SynergyZine on the entertaining interview. What kind of whiskey is that btw?

    Ok, onto feedback..

    I actually don't have any of my ex's things-it just ended up that way. I still have all the photos we took together and the gifts that I received from him. I actually like holding on to these sort of mementos-it's nice to have that picture or memory of my life back then, in that time, when I was going through a different period. It allows me to reflect on things such as, if I've changed, what I structured my life on back then, etc etc...

    Regardless of if the relationship was excellent or crappy, I like to think fondly of the time I had w/ this person..at least at one time in my life they were like family to me..and at that particular time, in that particular part of my life, that person fit right w/ me.

    In response to the other question, I think that it is unavoidable to make mistakes in a relationship-period. Since we're ppl (tons of flaws), we're bound to continue to make mistakes..even as we mature.

    Obviously there's embarrassing mistakes I made in my early 20's that proved how completely unaware I was of myself (and others)...and the severity of my mistakes and their consequences are likely to be less now..but regardless, I'll continue to screw up w/ men that I meet now...

    I think what's important is knowing that mistakes will continue to be made even as we mature..but that it's totally okay..seems to me that focusing on maturing and defining one's own life will increase the chances of a healthier relationship

    ok, now im babbling..

    thanks for the posts-thought provoking!

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  3. It's quite unavoidable that people make mistakes in love but we learn along the way. Sometimes, if we are lucky, we stick through with our lover in this learning process and emerge with a stronger relationship. Other times, the damage on the current relationship is irreparable it had to end but we grew wiser and learn from it. This helps to set the foundation for a better relationship when the next love appears.

    For me, my wisdom, heart aches and mistakes are reflected through my poems on love. It's quite a pile of poems and recently, i just published my first edition just for the fun of it, and as an acknowledgment to the existence of my feelings and the love journey that had been my past.

    http://www.lulu.com/product/ebook/my-love-poetry-ebook/15051795

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  4. Thanks for sharing your ideas. Keep up the good work. Cheers!

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